Fire, Gravel and Paintballs...?
For a truly one-of-a-kind, genuinely 'f* ugly' paint job, strip it down to bare metal (white or
light primers are ok, too) to get a nice metallic sheen...then, with the tank off the bike (AND EMPTY OF
ANY FLAMMABLE PETROL!) take an oxy-acetelene torch (with the oxygen line OFF) and run it anywhere over the
metal that you want looking extra-scuzzy...the carbon-rich fumes quickly layer up their sooty-poopy layers of
grimy, putrid crud. Next, throw rocks at your yet-un painted mostrosity, handfuls of pea-gravel are ideals....
paintball guns are ideal.....to seal it all up...use two or three 1/8" THICK layers of WOOD LACQUER...the kind
used on outdoor wood statues and furniture....you really want all that 3D crap to stay in the paint don't you?
This stuff oughta do the trick. If not, come back later with a torch and try to melt the lacquer into thick
plasticky puddles.....mmm, dirty
Morass
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